If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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