you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I am available for nakedness
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
