the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
