Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
