I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
