Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
