we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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