Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
