Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
