just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
