just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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