lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
