why didn't you poke me back
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
