Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I had to cum in my sink.
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