It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
