We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you inspire me to be a worse person
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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