I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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