She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
