shes about as inviting as chlamydia
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
