Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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