i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
