Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
