? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
