Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
