we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
