If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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