i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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