don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
