Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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