Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
