i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
