I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
