oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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