there's paper in my vomit.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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