Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
