Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
