I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
