just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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