At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
