so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize