saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
