My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
