I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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