So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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