I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
