Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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