HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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