My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
