just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
