Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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